My early career as a passive aggressive writer

20 July 2018

I’m about to head away for a weekend with my family, which seems like an appropriate time to dig up this gem: a story I wrote when I must have been five or six years old.

My nana kept this for nearly 30 years (aren’t grandparents great!) until she gave it to me last year.

It must be the earliest example of my creative output that still survives, and clearly I used writing as a way to express my childhood angst, in rather passive aggressive fiction.

I present the story of a boy who’s annoyed at his parents about dinner.

Passive aggressive writing

Once upon a time, there was a boy called Adam. He lived with his family in a big house. No-one liked Adam, nor did his family. He always got the worst at dinner time. One day, while the others were eating the best food, while Adam only got a yoghurt, Adam said to himself “I’ve had enough”, so he went to the fridge and got some cream and sprayed it at the others faces! While they couldn’t see Adam ate all the good pudding and left them with a yoghurt each! THE END.